Orochimaru's Popularity
by Mizu-Sama
Summary: After much debating with himself, Orochimaru decides to go to my talk show to talk about the increasing of his popularity. Much chaos insues. Orochimaru is one of whom I cannot imagine to be straight, so there is implied yaoi.


Hi! And for all of you people that are reading my other Naruto fictions, this is a tribute to you all! This is a one-shot. However, if it becomes immensely popular, I will make a sequel.

"Hello! I'm Mizu and this is the show where my super computer and I, help villains with their twisted plans! Say hello to my sound effects advisor, Nevassi!" Nevassi waves as the crowd Boos and screams random words. Nevassi frowns, and I continue,

"Today's guest is, the very twisted, the very evil, the very sexy—HEY! Time out! WHO PUT THAT THERE?" I shout, shiftily looking around and laughing nervously I regain my composure and continue to speak, "Orochimaru!"

Many boo's are emitted as the snake charming sannin strode mid-stage, took a graceful bow, and sat down in his seat.

"So, what evil havoc do you want to bestow by the end of this show?" I ask, a rim-shot following my ridiculous and stupid rhyming pun.

"Well, Mizu," he began, crossing his legs very girlishly over the chair, "I need your help to devise a plan that will make me immensely popular! Something that could make me as, if not more, popular than Naruto!" he finished, giving a hearty…uh..giggle as many gasps are heard from the audience, except for one member, who was too lazy and bored to make any kind of noise.

I look around, a stupefied look on my face, "..Well, I think I can arrange that! Give suggestions of change in personality that might raise your chances, and my super computer will calculate and predict your outcome!" I say proudly, clicking the walking screens monitor.

"Well," Orochimaru thought, "What if I become less creepy?" he asked the computer.

"I detect a 15 percent decrease in popularity." The computer blankly states. The Crowd goes into shock.

I am also in shock, because I would defenitly lose my love for Oro-kun if he had become less creepy. "Umm, what if I become even MORE creepy?"

I gasped, grinning, "Is that even possible!"

Orochimaru: Possibly…oh my.

My Super Computer spoke up, "I detect a 5 percent decrease in popularity." The crowd gets put into shock once more.

"Well, what if I show up more often so the others may bask in my beauty?" Fangirls, I am one of them, squeal, knowing that we would like love Orochimaru to be immensely involved in the series.

My Super Computer sweat drops (if that's possible) "Lose the Beauty part and you have a 5 percent increase in popularity."

"Okay." Orochimaru said, quickly gaining interest, "Well, what if I go for BOTH Uchiha brothers instead of just Sasuke?" All Yaoi fangirls faint from the over abundance in hotness, and Uchiha fangirls try to mob us all, but one of my security guards named Remedy made 5 copies of his different personalities and blocked them. "Well, I could just do a yaoi OVA…." Orochimaru trailed off.

My super computers monitor spun, "Wow, it almost skyrockets…." Yaoi fangirls go into submission from the hot possibilitys.

All if a sudden, Itachi bursts through the fourth wall, making it cry, and he lands in front of Orochimaru, "What is the meaning of this! Taking me AND my brother, who wants to kill me!"  
Orochimaru smiled wryly, "Oh. Hello, love. I was just thinking of many things that could raise my popularity. Among other things."

Itachi growled, acting very out of character, Popularity my ass! You're planning to capture my brother so I can't torture him anymore aren't you?"

Orochimaru gasped, his hand placed on his heart, if he has one, "Heavens no! I have almost lost interest in that boy, matter of factly, the one I want now," he stood, grinning. And he runs his pale fingers through Itachi's ebon hair. "Is you." He finished, whispering into his ear. All fangirls but me die. "Wow." I say.

Itachi, his face as red as his eyes shouts, "You are mad aren't you?"

Orochimaru smiled, evil lurking in his eyes, "Perhaps." He said, placing his cold hand on Itachi's face, preparing to fondle it.

Itachi slapped his hand away, the crowd gasping, "Do not toy with me!" His face only reddened.

Orochimaru smirked, grunting, "You cannot possibly be able to resist me for long.."

Orochimaru wrapped his arms around the older Uchiha's neck and pulled him into a long, tongue-filled kiss. The audience gasped, and it sent Itachi into a blushing rage. "What the HELL are you doing?" Itachi barely pushed Orochimaru back into his chair. Orochimaru only smirked smugly as he saw a raven-haired teenage genin in the crowd faint from trauma, causing a blonde haired boy and a strawberry-haired girl to bend over and see if he was okay.

"Well," I say, laughing nervously, "Now that the show's theme has been shattered, as so as Kabuto's heart,"

Kabuto blankly stared at me, "No, not really."

I shrug, "Whatever. Anyway, we should probably get going soon."

End short and creepy one shot! Thanks for reading Review dude!


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